Have you ever taken a project so far that you just can’t continue on with it anymore? Like editing a photo, where if you change it anymore, it ruins it instead of improves it. Or composing a sheet of music, and you’ve added all that you could without bloating it. Things have limits. Have I reached mine? I’m seriously contemplating ending this blog right now.
This blog had a direction in the beginning. It was basically about anything that relates to Asians, specifically Asians in America and what it’s like to be that. But with every new post, I find it harder to run out of things to write about. There is a limited amount of “Asian in America” issues and my own experiences being “Asiania”. Yes, slightly over 50 posts isn’t even close to reaching that limit. But I’ve reached the end of my patience.
Having a small reader base is one thing that bugs me. On average, there’s 20 unique people who visit this blog every day, and 40 page views per day. A lot of these pageviews are from people who searched up “asian guys are small” or something similar. It makes me laugh a bit, but it also reminds me that my readerbase isn’t that big.
The pageviews and visitor stats don’t bother me as much as I probably made it sound. As long as there are people that are dedicated readers, I am happy. But seeing a .wordpress.com after asiania makes me feel like a loser. Seeing the weak theme makes me feel horrible. I want something more. I want my own domain name (asiania.com was taken, but if I could, I’d take asiania.net) and the ability to customize the theme. Customize it so that it wows everyone. But sadly, I cannot afford hosting at this moment. I’m 15, in debt already (my parents are gonna kill me when they see my school debt), and I don’t have a job.
But the biggest reason I don’t want to continue with the blog anymore is that I feel like I’m deviating from the path I set for myself. The whole purpose of the blog, I completely ignore sometimes. Sometimes, I want to blog about just how I feel, or what’s happening to me at the moment. But it’s not something that’s not very readable. Who wants to read about my day? We all have better things to do.
I’ll be thinking over whether or not to end the blog over the next few days. But no matter what choice I come to, I would still like to thank you all for reading. Thank you, readers that googled a term and found the site and read a little of what I had to say. But more importantly, thank you, readers that have kept coming back to check if I posted anything new. You guys kept me going. But I think that I might be unable to continue anymore. I’m going to sleep now. Hopefully, the morning will bring brighter thoughts.
-Gary Mei