God, Chinese people really have the dumbest beliefs ever. These are common beliefs (among Taishanese people anyways. No idea if other Chinese people believe these things) and I think they’re ridiculous. Sometimes, I wonder how Chinese people have such great knowledge of medicine (their herbs are known to have good side effects on the body), and know so little. Maybe, just maybe, these beliefs really aren’t stupid. Go through the list and see for yourself.

~You’ll become stupid if you go under a table

This is defintely one that I’ve heard a lot before when I was a kid. I would play under a table in my grandpa’s room (I liked to think it was a fort, ok??) and my grandma would walk in and yell at me for a bit. She’d say how I’d get stupider if I stayed under the table. Then she’d leave and I’d be there, feeling kind of guilty because I believed her. In time, my will to play overcame my guilt and I realized how stupid the idea was after I got older.

~Staring at red will make you lose your eyesight

I’m pretty sure that this one is not believed at all, but I thought I’d include it cause I thought it was funny. My grandpa once told me it, and at that instant, I saw something red and I got really scared and looked away. Ok, call me stupid, but I was young and gullible. I actually believed my grandpa and I got really scared and began to think about how’d I lose my vision, and how I’m too young to go blind and how… and then I saw my grandpa laugh and I got so mad at him that I wouldn’t talk to him anymore… for the next 5 minutes. You just gotta love the old people.

~“Hot Air”

Ok, I have no idea how to say it in English, but literally tranlating it (if I got the words right) gives you the English words “Hot Air”. Supposedly, eating chips and other fried things give you something called “Hot Air”, and it makes you more susceptible to colds and all sorts of other bad things. I’m not really against this concept, because junk food really does make you unhealthy. What I’m against is the stupid way that Chinese people treat it. Ever since I was little, I’d have to drink some black, bitter stuff that was obviously made of some roots or something and it tasted horrible. A full bowl full of that stuff, and the first 2 mouthfuls were already enough to make me gag. I don’t know how to explain it, but if you ever heard them talk about “Hot Air” and then you stared at your bowl full of root-water, you’d know that the Chinese really aren’t the brightest in the world. Sure, we may be good at math. But we have no common sense.

There’s more superstitions and stupid beliefs, but this post is starting to get long and I ran out of ideas (damn, just thought of one. That thing when my grandma got injured and it required some pennies and moonlight and stuff…) so I’ll save them for next time.

-Gary M.