The new blog is definitely going to be different. I will still post on Asian in America things, but I’ll also post a lot more about how I feel. Because what is the point of such a blog if a true Asiania can’t show you what life is like? Anyways, the tone of the blog is probably going to be much different. Thanks for reading, everyone, and I hope that you’ll continue to do so.

-Gary Mei

This blog had a direction in the beginning. It was basically about anything that relates to Asians, specifically Asians in America and what it’s like to be that. But with every new post, I find it harder to run out of things to write about. There is a limited amount of “Asian in America” issues and my own experiences being “Asiania”. Yes, slightly over 50 posts isn’t even close to reaching that limit. But I’ve reached the end of my patience.

Having a small reader base is one thing that bugs me. On average, there’s 20 unique people who visit this blog every day, and 40 page views per day. A lot of these pageviews are from people who searched up “asian guys are small” or something similar. It makes me laugh a bit, but it also reminds me that my readerbase isn’t that big.

The pageviews and visitor stats don’t bother me as much as I probably made it sound. As long as there are people that are dedicated readers, I am happy. But seeing a .wordpress.com after asiania makes me feel like a loser. Seeing the weak theme makes me feel horrible. I want something more. I want my own domain name (asiania.com was taken, but if I could, I’d take asiania.net) and the ability to customize the theme. Customize it so that it wows everyone. But sadly, I cannot afford hosting at this moment. I’m 15, in debt already (my parents are gonna kill me when they see my school debt), and I don’t have a job.

But the biggest reason I don’t want to continue with the blog anymore is that I feel like I’m deviating from the path I set for myself. The whole purpose of the blog, I completely ignore sometimes. Sometimes, I want to blog about just how I feel, or what’s happening to me at the moment. But it’s not something that’s not very readable. Who wants to read about my day? We all have better things to do.

I’ll be thinking over whether or not to end the blog over the next few days. But no matter what choice I come to, I would still like to thank you all for reading. Thank you, readers that googled a term and found the site and read a little of what I had to say. But more importantly, thank you, readers that have kept coming back to check if I posted anything new. You guys kept me going. But I think that I might be unable to continue anymore. I’m going to sleep now. Hopefully, the morning will bring brighter thoughts.

-Gary Mei

I resisted, but I gave up after I saw how angry she was. Not wise to cross that woman… So here’s how my day went!

I’m in the car, and my mom’s telling my aunt and other family members about how she had to FORCE me to go to work and how ungrateful I am to her for giving me life and how strenuous her job is and how I can’t just help her out once in a while. But my mom likes repeating things, so I had to keep listening to that and I finally cracked and began arguing with her.

Nothing serious, but I told her, with force like I was her superior, that she was no longer allowed to go to the casinos so late if she expects me to work for her. Honestly, it’s a little too much when I wake up at 12, see my parents aren’t home, and then go to sleep at 2 without seeing them at all. Don’t they think that if they’re always complaining about work being tiring, they should get some sleep? So I told them that if they stay out so late again at the casino, I’m not stepping foot in their restaurant at all for the next three months. I’M the kid here and I show more common sense (this time only…) than they do.

Work was normal mostly, with some nice customers, some rude customers, and some infuriating customers. People need to start speaking louder when they’re ordering food. The restaurant is loud, and a soft voice doesn’t help. Especially when it’s a delivery order and I can’t afford to hear anything wrong. And sometimes, to make it worse, people will speak in a condescending way if you ask them to repeat something. But it’s not our fault. The restaurant is loud, you’re quiet, and my ear is already pressed to the phone as hard as can be. I hate customers like that.

Ooh, there was a huge fight at the restaurant today. I’m just taking orders, and my uncle loses his temper and he starts yelling at my mom, who naturally yells back. This is full volume yelling. Customers began peering in to see what it was all about, and I just took it in stride because it’s not like this stuff is that rare. I even joked with the customers about the argument. Turns out it was because my mom thought my uncle was cutting stuff to big. The heat and the stress really add up and anger flares up pretty fast. Then my dad began arguing with my uncle too… Not too long afterwards, everyone was cool again.

Nothing much happened after that. The phone did stop working, so we had to use the speakerphone, and that wasn’t good quality. Combine that with those annoying soft voices, and you’ll understand how frustrated I was.

At this point, I don’t have the strength for coherent thoughts anymore. So goodnight guys! Sleeping early today. =/

-Gary M.

Ok, to be fair, here’s my age: I’m fifteen years old. And if any of you feel that you guys can’t read my blog just because I am fifteen, then get the hell out of here. I don’t need retards to read every word I write. But if you are the smart type who understands that age is no real barrier to intelligence, then you wouldn’t mind that I’m fifteen.

So what if I’m fifteen? How does that mean that I’m not mature? There are plenty of adults that are less mature. There are plenty of adults who are not even capable of thinking on the same level as some children. How many times have I been put down because I’m not over sixteen? Or eighteen? How many jobs have I been rejected from because of my age?

Being fifteen has limited my opportunities more than you can imagine. I’m longing to prove to the world that I can do something. That I can change it. But my age stops me… That’s one thing that frustrates me. But the Internet was one haven for me. A place where I can express my thoughts. A place where I can show the world that I can do something, and now people feel like they must bring my age into this too.

Yes, I am fifteen. Deal with it, or leave. Go start your own blog if you decide that, simply because I’m fifteen, I can’t show something of value to you. But if you wish to object to anything I write, please do so. Intelligent bickering allows everyone to learn something new. But never, ever underestimate me just because I haven’t reached a certain age. Remember Einstein? Time is relative.

And to readers that don’t care about my age, but rather what I think, thank you. You guys are the smart ones.

-Gary M.

My uncle, the one who recently came to America, is being trained as a chef by my dad at his restaurant, and in a month or two, he’ll probably be sent to go find his own job. My uncle looks like a fun, partly-laid back man. I don’t know much about him, but I do know that he’s not the type to work in a restaurant. I see too much spirit in him for him to waste away in a restaurant.

He’ll have to work ten hours a day, six or seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year until he gets to that age when your limbs just won’t allow you to work anymore. And restaurant work is intense. Not only is it physically tiring, it’s also mentally tiring. Chefs in Chinese restaurants have short tempers and they get into arguments quickly. Either that, or they’ll be critisizing each other. It sucks to think that my uncle will go throughh all of this too.

Even in America, the land of opportunity, most people don’t survive unless they conform with expectations. Especially immigrants.

-Gary M.

I was with my dad in the car on the first day as he was getting supplies for the day, when I saw someone loading food into the back of another van. Now, in Chinatown, the people who load the food on are usually either Mexican or Chinese. But the man I saw was white…

The population of Chinatown (in Chicago) can be broken down into this: overwhelmingly Chinese, with a small black community. On the very fringe of Chinatown are the places where restaurants go to get the food that keeps their restaurants running. These places have Mexicans and Chinese people working there.

Now, to see a white person in Chinatown is nothing weird. Tourists are what keep Chinatown afloat. But to see a white man doing menial labor in Chinatown? Well, that’s something you don’t see every day.

So where’s this equality thing? If everyone, regardless of their ethnicity, is equal, then why was I so shocked when I saw that white man working there? Perhaps society is far from the ideal environment where people don’t make assumptions based on ethnicities. Or perhaps I’m just an idiot and I’m the only one that would have cared that he was white.

To be fair, he was an old man, so maybe that’s why I thought it was weird that he was doing menial labor. But I think I still would have thought it weird to see a white guy working in Chinatown, doing menial labor. Chinatown is Chinese, black, and sometimes Mexican. Seeing a white guy there felt so… out of place.

White On The Inside

Even if they act white all the time, it doesn’t make them white. Like, Oh Em Gee, I don’t care like, how much they talk like this, they’re still Asian. I don’t know why, but when I see Asians who act white, they just don’t have a “white” feel to them. It’s as if their Asian heritage still lingers in they way they speak, the way they act, and the way they look (obviously) and I don’t think it’ll ever go away.

I think that Asians in America might be able to talk with other ethnicities, to have things in common, but I don’t think that we’ll ever be 100% just like them. Something always sets us apart. Or maybe that’s just my opinion. What do you guys think? Can Asians completely lose their heritage?

A recent conversation with Johnny (aka Jeikei) reminded me of the time when I was laptop shopping. It took some thinking, but I eventually decided to get a computer from Lenovo, which is a Chinese computer company (4th in terms of computer manufacturing, I think). I had thought that my grandpa would be proud that I’m supporting a Chinese company (the adults in my family are very proud of China) but he was more worried than proud.

He was telling me all about how he couldn’t believe that I had trusted them enough to pay them already (you have to pay to get the computer…) and now I would lose all my money. He was afraid that they’d just take my money and not send it to me. Or that they would just close down after taking my money. He doesn’t seem to realize there are laws in place to protect against this. He does know that if you pay and don’t receive your product, you can sue them, right? Apparently not.

China is known to produce bootlegged copies of just about everything (ironic, considering almost everything is also made in China), so it wouldn’t surprise me if Chinese people conned each other frequently. I guess that’s why my grandpa was worried. He must have thought they’d take my money and run off, and then I’d never see that money ever again. Well, I don’t know about China, but here in America, you can sue the ass off of anyone for almost anything. God, I love this country.

-Gary M.

It pisses me off everytime my parents argue, because it’s usually my mom who starts the whole thing. My dad stays calm most of the time, and even when he gets mad, he’s still reasonable. My mom on the other hand loses all reason when she gets mad. All my dad wanted was for her to sign the last thing. But she claims that she was watching TV and would have done it afterwards. That’s such BS. She was ignoring him completely, had a serious expression on her face, and retaliated with such anger. You don’t build up anger that fast if it was truly an innocent decision. No, she chose to start the argument.

She always makes you lose your patience with her, and then she’ll start to raise her voice. She’ll start exclaiming about how it’s unbelievable that you would dare talk back to her, and in a very loud voice, she’ll say “Who’s the loud one now? You or me?”. It’s obviously her, but she’ll say it like it’s you that’s being loud and it’s all your fault. No, it’s not our faults, it’s hers. And when you try to tell her she’s right, and then back down, she’ll bring it back up every half a minute. She’s trying to get you to argue with her. Chinese women don’t listen to reason when it comes to arguing. Something so simple will upset them and they won’t ever shut up.

She always wonders where I get the courage to raise my voice like I do against her. Well, I get it from her. Thanks, Mom.

-Gary M.